Again, while reading up on divorce, I came across an article that talks about moving away from bitterness, anger and resentment.

I am hard on myself.  I feel like I should be less sad.  I feel like I should be thinking of him less.  I feel like I should be doing better.

The article references two scenarios.  In the first, the ex- wife has been divorced for 5 years, and in the second, over two years ago.  Both women are having a hard time with bitterness, anger and resentment.

I am only 7  months out.  And only separated.  Maybe I am doing ok?

The article continues to talk about strategies to move past the negative emotions.  One suggestion is to make a list of accomplishments achieved post-divorce.

While I am not officially divorced yet, I will be.

My accomplishments, post ex-beloved:

  1. Cleaned out the storage unit.
  2. Filled the storage unit with ex-beloved’s belongings and forced him to move every last box.  He did so reluctantly.
  3. Purchased new tires for my vehicle.
  4. Took a solo trip to NYC.
  5. Did not feel guilty taking my solo trip (read: no kids) to NYC.
  6. Created a budget for our “family” and have stuck to it.  (since we are not divorced we are still sharing finances).
  7. Have managed to pay down debt.  Not a lot.  But more than would have been paid had I still been “married”.
  8. Paid down said debt with the joint money.  Not out of my own pocket.  Through effective budgeting.
  9. Have started to set boundaries.
  10. Have found my voice.
  11. Registered for a couple of Continuing Education Classes at my local university.
  12. Painted my son’s bedroom.
  13. Bought new dishes.
  14. Saved my dog’s life
  15. Have lost 30 pounds.  (ok, so maybe that was just a result and not so much an accomplishment).
  16. Changed my first road bike tire/tube.
  17. Deleted my main email off my phone so that I can enjoy my days.

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