Again, while reading up on divorce, I came across an article that talks about moving away from bitterness, anger and resentment.
I am hard on myself. I feel like I should be less sad. I feel like I should be thinking of him less. I feel like I should be doing better.
The article references two scenarios. In the first, the ex- wife has been divorced for 5 years, and in the second, over two years ago. Both women are having a hard time with bitterness, anger and resentment.
I am only 7 months out. And only separated. Maybe I am doing ok?
The article continues to talk about strategies to move past the negative emotions. One suggestion is to make a list of accomplishments achieved post-divorce.
While I am not officially divorced yet, I will be.
My accomplishments, post ex-beloved:
- Cleaned out the storage unit.
- Filled the storage unit with ex-beloved’s belongings and forced him to move every last box. He did so reluctantly.
- Purchased new tires for my vehicle.
- Took a solo trip to NYC.
- Did not feel guilty taking my solo trip (read: no kids) to NYC.
- Created a budget for our “family” and have stuck to it. (since we are not divorced we are still sharing finances).
- Have managed to pay down debt. Not a lot. But more than would have been paid had I still been “married”.
- Paid down said debt with the joint money. Not out of my own pocket. Through effective budgeting.
- Have started to set boundaries.
- Have found my voice.
- Registered for a couple of Continuing Education Classes at my local university.
- Painted my son’s bedroom.
- Bought new dishes.
- Saved my dog’s life
- Have lost 30 pounds. (ok, so maybe that was just a result and not so much an accomplishment).
- Changed my first road bike tire/tube.
- Deleted my main email off my phone so that I can enjoy my days.