As we round the 10 month mark, I have almost made it through all the “firsts”.  The first time I did, experience, missed…whatever the occasion.

Today is my little guy’s birthday.  And he is with his dad.  His first birthday with separated parents.  My first of his birthday’s, not with him.  It is not my day.  I did see him this morning.  And after school.  But tonight, I would have taken him out to dinner, he is with his dad.

A couple of weeks ago, my little guy was quite upset about his birthday.  It turned out that his dad had 6 tickets to a hockey game.  My little guy, my little girl, little guy’s best friend, their uncle, their dad and dad’s girlfriend would all go.  The problem was the little guy was not ready to introduce his best friend into this new reality yet.  Yes best friend knew about the separation and the girlfriend.  But little guy was not ready to make it all real.

Understandable I told him.  You  just need to tell you dad.

This is where we (little guy, little girl and I) all have issues.  Communicating the hard stuff with their dad.  We are all people pleasers.  We hate to rock the boat.  I realize I have taught them to be like that.  And while I am getting better at rocking the boat, standing up for myself, they have a way to go.  And it is their father they need to rock the boat with.  Not an easy thing at all.

In the end he told his dad.  Dad surprisingly came up with the idea that little guy could invite 3 friends.

I was shocked.  It was a reasonable solution and very nice gesture.

Off they went tonight.  Without me.

Thank goodness for friends.  I am off to have dinner with another single mom.  We will share, and laugh and maybe even cry.  And that is ok.

Because life is good.

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4 thoughts on “Firsts

      1. It has gotten better. Less tears. Less anxiety. Less fear. More settling into my new life, new reality. But believe it or not (I could not imagine) I am starting to be ok.
        A friend told me it takes two years. Two years to truly feel better and whole. Ok with it all. I think she was right. I am halfway there. And it feels hopeful.

        Like

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