I haven’t written in my journal in a couple of months. I pulled it out today to do some writing. I like to write in my journal when my thoughts are very disjointed. Very all over the place. That is how I am feeling today. I opened my journal and found this as my last entry, a letter to myself:
Today you decided to write this so that when you have low days, you can look back on something positive. When you are having a low day, or week, you feel rather desperate. You feel stuck. Right? And most especially, like you can’t let go, like you can’t move forward.
Think of how far you have come. Think of how much you have learned. Be ok with what you have lost. Rejoice in what you have gained.
This is not the man you want to be with. And no matter what he is doing, or how he is acting, he is not living a better life. Remember that this is the man who lied to you. This is the man who betrayed your trust. He is a liar. He is financially irresponsible. Remember this is the man who has had his credit cards canceled. he is so far down the rabbit hole that he avoids everything. Including paying his debts.
He is a coward. That is why he lies. That is why he is disrespectful. He cannot face his responsibilities. It has nothing to do with you.
When you have strong days, you are so good. You know and believe you are better off. You hear the bullets zipping by your ears.
Acknowledge your sadness but don’t stay there. The past no longer matters. Do not let it unpack in your mind. Instead, think about how strong you have become. Not only have you found your voice, but you have been setting boundaries like it is a railway track into the wilderness.
Keep forging ahead. You are so close. Don’t throw in the towel now.
Instead, swing that towel high above your head. Embrace your new life. Be grateful that the universe has given you an amazing gift.
Love, Me xo