Just What I Needed

I’ve been a little MIA from my blog as of late.  I have not been inspired to write.  Well, that’s not completely true.  I have been writing, but in my journal.  I have had a hard few weeks.  I felt like coming here to write was self-indulgent.  “For goodness sake, no one wants to read more about your anxiety, or trust issues, or low self-esteem, or crying, or breakdown, or break up,” was what I was telling myself.  I’ll expand more on this in a separate blog post.

And then today happened.

I was nominated today by Mick over at My Writings for the Liebster Award.  While this blogger to blogger award is meant to not only recognize and show support to new bloggers, it also serves as a way to increase the nominated blogger’s exposure.

For me?

It was a big kick in the pants that I needed.  Mick reminded me not in words, but through his nomination, that I  need to write.  That my writing is being enjoyed and appreciated by others.

So thank you Mick.  I am truly grateful that you have gotten me to sit down at my computer and get typing again.  So much easier than pen to paper!  Maybe not easier, but different.  And equally relevant.

In Mick’s post I learned that I need to now share the nomination with other new bloggers that I have enjoyed reading (those with less than 200-300 followers), as well as answer the questions that he has left for me, and the other nominees.  Unfortunately I do not spend enough time reading blogs.  I randomly view and read.  These days my brain can focus on very little.  However, I whole heartedly agree with  Mick’s choice for his nominations:

The Euphoric Iraqi Single Mom This wonderful mom of twin boys is rebuilding her life during and after divorce.  She is amazingly strong and wonderful.

So Mick’s questions for me to answer:

1) What do you find most difficult about blogging?

Usually my biggest challenge is to just come and write.  I overthink.  Everything.  The intention was to have my blog be somewhere that I could come and write about my feelings and set them free.  But at times I get bogged down (like lately) and think too much about what I am actually writing (how it will be perceived) vs just writing.

2) What would you like to learn?

That is a good question.  There is so much for me to learn.  Especially when it comes to who I am.  I need to learn to not be so hard on myself.  I am my own worst critic.

3) So what inspires you?

So much.  Mostly though, the women around me.  We are all unique, and yet all the same.  We all struggle.  Some of our struggles are the same, some different, some opposite.  But we all struggle.  And yet we all get up in the morning and put one foot in front of the other.

And if I am being completely honest, I inspire myself.  I read back on my posts and I like what I have written.  I am inspired to take another breath, to take another step, forward into this new life.

4) Have you got a philosophy of life?

Right now I would say that my philosophy would be, “one moment at a time, one breath at a time”.  Try to stay in the moment and to not worry about what you can’t control.

5) Any big event on the horizon for you?

There are lots of big events happening.  Maybe not events, but things in my life.  It looks like my divorce papers might be signed by the end of the year.  Huge.  I am taking my kids to NYC for Christmas and I am very excited about that.  A move is in my future as well as sorting out my career.  So lots of big things on the horizon.

6) Have you a favourite place?

My bed.  Since I wrote that post, I have added a memory foam top to my bed and bought new pillows that scrunch exactly like I want them to.  My favourite place is without a doubt MY bed.

There are other places that I love.  My local coffee shop.  NYC.  The top of the mountain where I live.

7) Couch potato or Olympic athlete?

Olympic Athlete without a doubt!  I am a part time fitness instructor who dabbles in cycling and has found a love for running.  I have never been a runner, and really would still say that I am not a runner.  But in actuality, I am now a runner, who has sustained her first injury and has to rest for 3 more weeks.  I have discovered how therapeutic running has been for me, since I have had to take a break.  It explains some of why I have been an emotional mess as of late.  I am planning on running a half marathon in May and may even participate in a team sprint triathlon with my swimming friend (so that means I will run and cycle).  Funny, I am sure my ex would find me unrecognizable now, in more ways than one!

8) Name 3 things on your bucket list.

Write a book. Travel to India.  To be an inspiration to others.

9) Have you had a life changing experience?

I have.  And it is what this blog is all about.  But I have also learned that every day is a life changing experience.  That each and every day, each and every decision, shapes our lives.

10) Name 3 people you would like to meet.

1. my paternal grandmother for who I am named and I never got to meet.
2. Josephine Bonaparte
3. a younger version of myself.  to tell her that she is loved.  that she did not need to work so hard at being accepted by those who were not able to accept her.  that she was not a mistake.  that she was perfect.